Missing An Old Friend

Tomorrow would have been the birthday of an old friend who was a former coworker and boss, and a man who was like a father to me. He passed away several years ago in a car accident when a semi hit him. The accident wasn't his fault. I was angry for a long time over his passing, over him being taken and shed a lot of tears. I regretted not accepting his job offer after he left the company we both worked for. I missed out on a lot of time with him that I would have had if I had not turned it down.

Anger, regret, despair, sadness - stages of grief I guess. I wonder, though, if you ever get past sadness, past missing a special loved one. It doesn't seem like it.

He was a great boss. He was fun, always making me laugh with jokes and teasing. He was fair. He helped me out personally when I was struggling; he looked out for me. On maternity leave, I went in to show off my baby and ended up needing to change her (which I did on his desk). An executive with a huge company and I'm using his desk as a changing table!

The last time I saw him, he'd called to take me out to lunch. When we parted in the parking lot after lunch, he kissed my cheek good-bye.

I remember the day my firstborn was born, he called me at the hospital first thing that morning. I picked up the phone and said, "Hello." He said, "Hi. This is dad."

I miss him.