Ups & Downs of Marriage

There are ups and down in every marriage.  For the last couple of weeks, we've been on a huge downer.  There has been a lot of tension lately over his decision to drive nine hours next weekend to watch his almost 18-year-old daughter play about ten minutes of marching band material (the same daughter who doesn't give him the time of day at any time and purposely over schedules for anything she can so she doesn't have to visit her dad to make her momma happy, even ignoring him on Father's Day without even a phone call or text).  He'll spend gas money and his expenses for this trip when our kids need winter coats and jeans for school.

He said his daughter doesn't want to be a part of our family.  So why the trip when it is going to strain us financially? 

He told his daughter he had to work that weekend but she won't forgive him if he doesn't go so the emotional blackmail wins out over our own agreement between man/wife to discuss anything that affects our family, like this does before making decisions.  Even after telling him we couldn't meet our bills this month if he went, he's still going. 

He missed our own daughter's marching band performance last week because of his work schedule and that was in the same darn town as us and yet he's going to refuse needed and rare overtime and drive nine hours for a ten minute performance. 

To say I am upset is putting it mildly.  There's a very angry part of me that wants to tell him to go and not come back.  The fact that he doesn't talk to his daughter when she blows him off, blows her siblings off, really bothers me and this emotional manipulation on her part just heaped on resentment towards hubby for allowing it.  She is old enough to know better and as her father, he has a responsibility to be dad and talk to her about her hurtful behavior.