How to feel respect when all you think is STUPID

This Friday is the big day.  The day hubby is going to go 30+ hours without sleep so he can see his daughter in another state play for about ten minutes in her marching band, driving nine hours - on no sleep - driving home really late at night - on no sleep.  I'm thinking he'll get home around 4 a.m. or so.  Yeah, that's real smart.

Dad didn't even go to our teenager's marching band performance a week ago and he lives here because of his sleep/work schedule.  If our daughter realizes dad is going to watch her sister in another state but didn't adjust his sleep schedule by only two hours to see her performance, she's going to be hurt.  A little emotional blackmail from an almost 18 year old girl works on dad apparently and that whole sleep/work thing doesn't matter any longer.  If he kills himself, or somebody else on the road, in the process, then what the heck are his six kids going to do?


My husband told me yesterday that I am even turning away from him in my sleep.  What does that tell you about my anger level about this trip when my subconscious doesn't want anything to do with him either?  This trip is an accident waiting to happen, a financial strain not only for the money needed for the trip but he's losing overtime he's supposed to work (on top of the money he just spent on my birthday which I told him NOT to and he didn't listen - hoping to butter me up a bit?), and it is giving into a "child's" blackmail. 

Mommy Dearest (the ex) should be so proud of herself. She's trained her daughter well.

Then my husband asked me yesterday if I think my weight gain is stress related.  Gee, ya think I'm feeling stress right now?  It's definitely stress and it is definitely thyroid.  A lot of the stress is from his actions, or lack thereof.

I can't respect his choice here.  Not only is it stupid and dangerous, he went against everything we agreed upon before I would agree to marry him - that we would discuss decisions that affect our family together when it concerned his kids and his ex.  If somebody else was running the show, I wanted no part in it and I made that very clear before I accepted his marriage proposal.  Apparently, his daughter runs things now.  He certainly didn't talk to me about this before he made his decision.  He knows how I feel about it.  I hope he can live with the consequences because he's shredding my respect and trust.  If he gets himself hurt or killed, our four young kids are going to be devastated.  I can't speak for his two older kids because they don't give him the time of day ever - can't even be bothered to send him a text on Father's Day, or call, or visit.  I'm not even sure why the emotional blackmail to get dad to this thing on Friday.  The ex did say she'd save a seat.  Isn't that sweet of her?