I've Lost 4.8 Pounds

Well, it WAS 5.7 pounds but it is the holidays. Give me a break. I lost that in the first four days of my "diet" too but by the fifth day, I couldn't stand it anymore and I cheated. That led to constant cheating. Thus, no more "diet" did I follow. I have managed to keep some of the weight I had lost off though the past few weeks, despite the holidays. Plus, I have to keep hiking up my pants so even that small amount of weight loss did make a small difference.

I have lost 1/4 of what I wanted to lose in total weight though so that isn't too bad. The diet the doctor gave me to follow just included too many foods that I could not eat without gagging (certain vegetables and fish). I think I am going to modify it a bit to include more foods (proteins) that I like with the veggies I like and cut out the foods that I couldn't stand, that discouraged me from this diet. Obviously, it was working (even if some of the foods was making me want to vomit). This diet isn't a "diet" so much as a different way of eating healthier foods, while cutting out oils, butter, and dairy. Definitely not a bad thing.

Here's hoping to more weight loss in my near future!

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I'm Up For Adoption

I’m Up for Adoption


Some aspects of the holidays stink. Family squabbles seem to multiply and god forbid (or goddess forbid) a new crisis happens around the holidays to heap on top of the old squabbles. We're staying home for the holidays and I have to admit that I am happy about that.

So, I've decided I am up for adoption. I am going to write Santa with my wish list. Here it is:

Dear Santa,

I would like two parents who get along.

I would like a family who doesn't play favorites.

I would like a family that isn't mental.

I would like a family that doesn't live in drama mode 90% of the time.

I would like a family that I look forward to going home to for the holidays.

I would like a family where everybody gets along 90% of the time.

I would like a family that is close-knit.

That's my wish list, Santa, for the holidays. If you know of a family who doesn't have a screw loose, let me know. If they want to pay my credit cards off while they're at it, that'd be great. I'd appreciate it.

Oh yeah, while you're at it, I'd like 20 partially wooded acres out in the country with a large, older (but updated) farmhouse big enough for all of us with room to grow and my bills paid for the next year, please. Have you noticed the price of gas and milk lately?

Oh yeah again - don't be disappointed when my oldest doesn't believe in you next xmas. She's tottering this year on figuring it all out (with tears I might add) so I think this is your last year for her. I think we're going to be able to squeak her through this last year of believing in you, Santa. We have three more who believe though so don't worry. You'll still have cookies left out for you for at least 6-8 more years, if the dogs don't get them first.

If you'd rather have hot cocoa, or maybe a shot of tequila to warm you up, waiting for you instead of sour milk, just let me know.

Thanks Santa!!

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I Have Thyroid Disease

Thyroid Information


I have an autoimmune thyroid disease - Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and am hypothyroid. I have been since my 3rd child was born. To give you an idea of what this is like (and to judge whether you are showing symptoms or somebody you love and want answers), here are some of the symptoms as shown at www.hotzehwc.com:

Physical Signs and Symptoms of Hypothyroidism

Fatigue, Weight gain, Cold extremities, Cold intolerance, Decreased sweating, Headaches, Muscle and joint pain, Enlarged thyroid gland, Menstrual irregularities, Infertility, Miscarriages, Loss of libido, Recurrent infections, Allergic disorders, Decreased mental sharpness "brain fog", Depression or mood swings, Hoarseness, Slow speech, Dry skin, Hair loss, Constipation, Fluid retention, Skin pallor, pastiness and puffiness, Enlarged tongue with teeth indentations, Brittle fingernails with ridging, Loss of hair on the outer edge of the eyebrows, Low blood pressure, Slow pulse rate, Low basal body temperature, Tingling and/or numbness in extremities, Elevated cholesterol and triglycerides

I was showing several of these symptoms when I was diagnosed. Almost seven years later, my bloodwork levels are within "normal" range but I am still having too many of these symptoms. That's not right.

I've been on synthetic hormones from the beginning, which I questioned several times but was always brushed off. Everytime I asked my endocrinologist about a natural med for it, I was shoo shoo'd away. It's always bugged me but I figured at the time she knew what she was talking about. Well, we've since moved so I no longer see her and I'm still having a lot of symptoms, I started looking up information. I bought a book Living Well with Hypothyroidism that is proving to be very interesting plus a web site was just recommended to me as having useful information:

http://www.hotzehwc.com/

I've been told that these two web sites below are supposed to be a good source of information and am looking forward to digging into them to find more information (and back up for when I go into my doctor insisting on a medication change):

http://thyroid.about.com

http://www.thyroid-info.com (this web site is the author's web site of the book I mentioned above).

I am going to insist to my new doctor that they switch me to a natural thyroid med to see if it helps. I'd love to get rid of as many of these symptoms that are hanging on that I can. I always attributed those symptoms to other things in life (like age) but I'm 36, not 86 or because of stress. I shouldn't be tired after sleeping all night. I shouldn't be so forgetful when my memory used to be sharp as a tack. I shouldn't still have four nodules sticking out of my thyroid, choking me if I laugh with my head turned the wrong way. That's not normal and it is time to insist on a trial medication change. If my insistence is met with denial, I will find another doctor. I want answers.

Anyway, I know thyroid issues are becoming quite common (like 1 in 8 women now) so I thought I'd put this info out there in case anybody else is showing symptoms that isn't being treated or know you have it and would like more reading material other than just the "synthetic - synthetic - synthetic" treatment some doctors will only use.

If you'd like to test yourself to see if you have symptoms of a problematic thyroid, among other things, try this:

http://www.hotzehwc.com/test/

Good Luck!

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The Definition of Family

What is family? Is family the group of people you are born into, sharing a parent somewhere in there, an uncle, a sibling, a grandparent? Is family who you are raised with as a child no matter how good or bad that childhood was? Alternatively, is it the people you choose to surround yourself with, whether they are blood related or not, that are there for you?

I am coming to the realization that blood has little to do with it. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your blood relatives. If you're lucky, you are surrounded by supportive, loving people who are there for you. If you're lucky, they are blood relatives. If some of those blood or marital ties are toxic, hopefully you are lucky enough to find support somewhere else and call them family.

With the end of the year coming, I find myself wanting to clear out everything and everybody toxic. Liars - gone. Users - gone. Unsupportive people - gone. Two-faced idiots - gone. Anybody in my life that is less than honest, less than supportive, less than what "family" should be - gone. These past few months found me at the limit to what I could tolerate. I don't like to see my family hurt because of somebody else's gross insecurities or selfishness. It hurts me and it pisses me off to see them hurt. I also find myself not caring if those toxic people are blood relatives or others in my life that have caused hurt without a care as to the pain they have caused. I hate seeing people close to me hurt even if it is unintentional, which hasn't all been the case unfortunately. Intentional harm is the worst and most unforgiveable. It'd be nice to live a life without drama, without lies and toxic behavior.

These have been some painful realizations I have had to come to terms with this past year. I've watched people very close to me, innocents, hurt unnecessarily because of other people's selfishness. Whatever your definition of family - whether you believe it is the family you are blood tied to, the family you marry into, or the unrelated "family" you choose to surround yourself with, this is how I feel. I have no tolerance left for toxic people and/or toxic relationships anymore. Anybody who has less than good intentions for me and mine, I have no respect for. Period.

I see some people who are able to tolerate it, swallow their hurt and pretend everything is ok though inside it is not and the relationship does suffer even if they pretend on the outside all is well. The same problems exist but you pretend they don't. I've tried that; it doesn't work for me. The hurt compounds over time as they heap more salt into the open wound. I am not one of those people to accept that though I've tried to - sometimes with my mouth shut but usually not. Everybody that knows me well knows I speak up when I see something or somebody hurt unfairly and if it one of my own hurt, "it" will hit the fan and it won't be pretty. If people don't like that about me - too bad. It is who I am, and people who have a problem with that are welcome to move on elsewhere.

I'm not sure if this realization has come with age but I kind of don't think so. I've always had a low tolerance level for stupidity and for people who unfairly hurt the people that I love, especially my kids and husband. When that happens, watch out!

Well, I'm tired of it. My New Year's wish this year is that everything toxic and anybody with less than pure, loving good intentions leave me and mine the heck alone. I'm tired of drama. I'm tired of lies. I'm tired of selfish insecurities. I may have had little choice on who is "family" outside my immediate home, but that doesn't mean I have to just accept it and invite it into my life now or ever. It isn't my responsibility to swallow my feelings to keep the peace due to somebody else's issues. Those feelings eat me up inside and for what? To pretend to have some semblance of a relationship with somebody you don't respect, like, or care for to keep the peace?

My definition of family is changing. It's time to clean house for the coming New Year! To me, family may be blood-related or they may not. To me, family may be people outside of blood ties that are in my life and offer the support and love that doesn't come from "blood". Blood is not always thicker than water. Harsh realization to finally accept but it's like a load off to finally do so.

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A little better...

Another day, another attempt at finding my willpower. I made it through Turbo Jam for the full 20 minute exercise routine, without feeling like I was going to keel over. I hit my rescue inhaler BEFORE I started exercising so I didn't need it during. That seemed to really help.

Two of my girls exercised with me. We had fun doing it together. My two year old daughter didn't join in as much as hang onto me and try to get me to stop and pay attention to her. Daddy came to the rescue and distracted her in another room so I could finish. My son - he didn't participate with us. He did tell us that we all looked funny though. That was his contribution.

I felt good after I was done. I got further on my second day of exercising than I thought I would have. Not bad for this out-of-shape mom eh?

My husband was worried about me when I told him I did the full 20 minutes. He thinks I am rushing it and should only be doing ten minutes to start. I told him I felt fine. I'm not sure if he's worried about my asthma, sore muscles, or my heart rate but I'm proud of myself for making it that far.

Because I don't like sweat, and I did sweat a bit, I had to go right to the shower, lol. I did it though! I am exercising. Now I have to keep up the routine!

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Finding Willpower, Finding Time

OK. I want to get into shape. Lose some lbs. in some places, some more than others, lol. Firm up some places. Again, some more than others. My problem? Well, there's a few of them.

First, I have thyroid disease - Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and Hypothyroidism. Besides having several lovely nodules on my thyroid and the fear of cancer one day, it has slowed my metabolism down to about nothing. So, the days of eating what I want, when I want are over for me.

Second, I have asthma. A few minutes of exercise means puffing away at my rescue inhaler. I have my asthma under control for the most part the rest of the time, but exercise induced asthma gets me everytime.

Third, I have four young children. Where do I find the time to squeeze in exercise in between meal preparation, cleaning, homework, kids' activities, errands, husband activities, etc. etc. etc. Funny how the reason for the extra weight (baby weight that won't leave) is also part of the reason why I don't have time to get rid of it, lol.

Fourth, I have no willpower. Nada. Zilch. I never had to watch my weight before. I was always a size 2/4 no matter how many times I went thru the drive-thru at McDonalds (and believe me, that was OFTEN back when I was single). Yes, I was one of those snotty witches that could eat what I wanted, when I wanted, and never gain an ounce. So, having to figure out how to watch it now is difficult for me - difficult for me to think about and difficult for me to maintain thinking about.

Finally, I can't use "help" in the form of weight loss pills, shakes, etc. Medications tend to react badly with my thyroid meds (as in heart-racing nausea bad reaction feeling like I am going to die scenario). I have no clue how natural remedies would interact with my thyroid meds either so those are out. I can't even pop a cold pill when I get a cold.

I don't eat badly. I mean, there are times that I do. When Bryan brings me home chocolate, which he thoughtfully does because he knows how much I love it, how could I not eat some (he also thoughtfully eats it too, sometimes before I can get to it)? (Did I say he bought it for me? LOL) When I have my mother-in-law's company potatoes in front of me, that is a huge guarantee that I am going to eat too much but that's only a few times a year. Most of the time, I don't have time to eat properly, which is part of my problem. Not eating enough frequently enough slows my metabolism down. Guess I'm screwed everyway I go huh?

Fifth, everytime I try to exercise, a two-year old comes running to hang onto my leg. Mom can't have time to herself according to my two-year-old, lol. That is the way it is with everything though - mom gets on the computer, toddler wants me; mom answers the phone, toddler wants me.

That leaves me with exercise. Boring, asthma-inducing, hateful, muscle aching exercise. Something else about me - I hate to sweat. Hate it. Unless it is sweat induced by a lot of loving, I have NO interest in sweating ever. I hate sweating myself and find nothing sexy about a sweaty man. It stinks!

I took the first step today towards finding some willpower. I did it. I exercised today. I sweated. I increased my heart rate. Then after 14 minutes, I had to break for my inhaler. I did it though. My first step towards losing some lbs. and finding my waistline. It will make me happier about myself, thus better for my family. It will be healthier for me and that's not just better for me but better for my kids. I want to be around to see my grandkids. I am six years younger than my husband and he's in better shape than me. Can't have that! I have to catch up to the old man!

I am hoping this blog will give me some incentive to keep going. If I see it here, it will be a reminder that I have to haul my Turbo Jam DVD out and work my booty off more often and literally. Right? That's my hope anyway.

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What Happened to Halloween?

What happened to Halloween?

What happened to Halloween? You know, the costume holiday that little kids look forward to, that a majority of parents participate in with their children?

First, as a kid, you have to decide what you want to be for Halloween. Kids plan with their friends what they will all dress up as, look through catalogs, check out their favorite video and cartoon characters and then announce what they will be for Halloween to the parent just waiting with held breath to know.

Second, said parent checks out every halloween store because chances are, the costume your child picked isn't going to be at Wal-Mart. You search and search, compare prices, and then find the size you wanted is sold out. If you're lucky, you will find a store that sells the size you want (and even pay the extra shipping to get it here on time if its from an online store). If you're not lucky, or if your child is not lucky, lol, you have to buy the costume one size too small and squeeze them into it.

Then, the child starts looking forward to big day. Not only is there trick or treating as soon as it gets dark for hours, but the school has a costume party too. Get to wear them twice? Yeah!! Kids love to dress up with their friends and parade through all the classes, around the school, showing everybody their costume. Then there are the classroom parties with lots of goodies and even a goody bag to take home.

Finally, you go home and wait until it is time to get back into your costume for the real fun. You're so excited. It is getting dark and you can't wait for your parents to take you door to door to yell "trick or treat" with the rest of the kids. Most of the time, you get a treat but sometimes you get the goof who gives you a trick. You can go out for a few hours, fill up one pillowcase, maybe even two of them.

What happened to those days? If you call it "Halloween" at some public schools (and note I did say PUBLIC), you get reminded clearly that it is NOT a Halloween party...it is a Harvest party. (Halloween is an evil pagan holiday don't ya know?) Harvest party? Why is the school, and some parents behind it I suspect, turning this children's funtime into something different in order to differentiate it from "Halloween"? I could understand if this was at the parochial private schools, but not the public school system.

If the overenthusiastic religious members actually researched, they would realize that the pagan sabbat (known as Halloween for mainstream) is widely known as Samhain. They would also find out that Samhain is celebrated as the last harvest. They would also find out its other meanings, which aren't evil by any means, but to educate themselves and show some religious tolerance - BAH! By trying to change "Halloween" so it isn't so "pagan-like" they have called it what it is to pagans. Harvest! Can we all say "DUH"?

It's not just the change in terminology. Most of the teachers won't have any type of classroom Halloween party (oh, excuse me, harvest party). I thought church and state were supposed to be separate and changing traditions decades old because of the religious controversy over Halloween isn't keeping it separate! Why can't the adults just back off and let the kids celebrate this the way it has been celebrated in the previous generation? Let them have their fun and keep the tradition going. These little kids aren't dressing up to worship a pagan god or goddess. They're doing it for loads of candy and fun.

Let's talk about the other changes now. Where we live, they don't even have "trick or treat" on Halloween. It is ALWAYS on one particular day of the week on the week BEFORE Halloween. God (and/or goddess if you happen to be pagan) forbid kids go out on the evil night of Halloween and trick or treat! OK, we can deal with that (and maybe hit the next town over where they aren't so uptight on the REAL Halloween for two nights of fun).

"But mom and dad, it isn't even dark yet."

You're only allowed to be out for a short time from 'this time to this time' and that is it. Lights start flipping off everywhere at 7:30 p.m. You can watch them all go off down the block. Huh?

"But mom and dad, we only got to go a few blocks."

What is disappointing is that on those few blocks, a majority of the houses have their lights off - no trick or treaters welcome. Nice. I am sure some of those houses have kids and they are out trick or treating as well. That's understandable. You know what? They can't ALL have kids and there are just too many dark houses anymore.

Our town, and the town we lived in before this (that wasn't as bad but not much better either), is lucky that "Devil's Night" isn't anything like what we knew of Michigan's "Devil's Night." Otherwise, houses everywhere would be getting tp'd and egged city-wide by little ghosts, princesses, and super heroes everywhere.

Why are the adults changing Halloween like this? Just let the kids have a few hours to dress up, beg for candy, get tummy aches from eating too much, and have a few good memories of going trick or treating with mom and dad. Don't turn it into a religious controversy for the kids.
All that being said, this close-mindedness does give some parents, like me, the opportunity to answer their children's questions about these changes in traditions decades old, the religious intolerance of others, and the fears of some people based on uneducated views of different faith-based beliefs because only one (theirs) can be right, right?

Amen and Blessed Be!

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Gardasil: Should we or shouldn't we?

If you are the parent of a young girl or teenager, you have probably had to think about this question:

As a parent, do you choose to vaccinate your child with Gardasil?

Gardasil is a vaccine against four types of the HPV or Human Papillomavirus, two of which cause some cervical cancers and two of which cause the most genital wars. That's what I am reading anyway. I think the "facts" depend on where you are reading this information and the opinion of the person or organization posting it.

There is a big debate/controversy over this vaccine. Is the debate over the fact that this is a new vaccine or is it because the "S" word comes into the equation (you know, S-E-X, and no parent wants to believe their child is going to have sex before they get married and contract HPV as a result...yeah right and I'm the same size 2 I was before I had kids!).

So I am doing some research because my husband and I are going to have to make this decision for our oldest daughter very soon and the rest of our children as well eventually. Here is some of what I am finding. Is it truth? I don't know what the truth is...yet. I do plan to find out.

HPV includes more than 100 different strains of the virus, 30 of which are sexually transmitted, affecting both males and females. You can carry this virus in your system, infecting others, without showing symptoms yourself. Some of these strains can cause cancer of the cervix, vulva, vagina, anus, and penis. These are the high risk strains.

How many people are infected right now? According to the CDC, 20 million people are currently infected with HPV. They also say that at least 50% of sexually active men and women will acquire this virus in their lifetime with 6.2 million Americans newly infected each year. I have been told that if you have had unprotected sex with three people, you have an 85% chance of having it already (and imagine all the people your partners have slept with unprotected...and they've slept with...and they've slept with). Talk about 10 degrees of separation! Eek! Unless you have taken a vow of celibacy or can't get a date (or you find that "special" guy or girl that is still a virgin well into adulthood), you have to be realistic about this virus.

Also according to the CDC, 10 of the 30 identified genital HPV types can lead to cervical cancer. Scary statistics when you can't know which strain your partner may be carrying. 3700 women die in the U.S. each year from cervical cancer.

Now let's get to some more information on the vaccine itself -

It is recommended for 11-12 years of age but can be given as soon as nine years old. It is also recommended for 13-26 year old girls who have not completed the vaccine series yet. It is given in three injections over a six month period.

It is supposed to be administered before the child become sexually active (good luck finding that out from your kids). If they are already active, they can still get the vaccine as most girls do not have all four types of HPV and can still benefit.

IS IT SAFE?

The CDC says it has been tested on 11,000 females around the world, including the U.S. They say it is safe and caused no serious side effects. Brief soreness at the injection site is the main complaint (as expected for any vaccine).

Edited to add 10/19/09: I have since done a lot of personal research on this vaccine because I have three daughter's and it is important to make knowledgeable, safe decisions concerning their health. I have since found too many major side effects that girls have been experiencing (convulsions, passing out, death) and we have decided with no uncertainty whatsoever that our girls will not be getting this vaccine.

HOW MUCH DOES IT COST?

Current average cost is $119.75 per dose. However, many insurances cover them. I checked with our insurance company and ours covers it. I believe Medicaid covers them as well though you should check with your caseworker.

FUTURE VACCINES:

There is another vaccine in trial right now that is supposed to protect against the two types of HPV that cause 70% of cervical cancers. Something to look for in the future along with more controversy I would imagine.

So where is the controversy? How many parents took their pre-teen or teen into their family doctor or pediatrician for the meningococcal vaccination because it was recommended before they started high school but didn't get the gardasil vaccine? Why? Was it because gardasil has some relation so that word again S-E-X? Parents don't want to vaccinate their kids against an STD. Are you vaccinating your child against an STD or are you protecting them from some cancers caused by some strains of HPV?

If the medical community came out with a vaccine that prevented lung cancer, pancreatic cancer, prostate cancer, breast cancer - would you get the vaccine? I think there would be many more people lining up for that vaccine as opposed to the gardasil because THOSE vaccines aren't to protect against something you get having S-E-X. There is that word again.

So, as a mom to three beautiful girls and one gorgeous son, what is my concern with this vaccine? Why haven't I had our ten year old vaccinated already?

1. Because I have a little more time to make up my mind still. That is one reason.
2. Because I want to know more about the FUTURE effects (or is it affects? somebody get the spelling police please) of this vaccine on my children.

I am not concerned about the S-E-X connection to this vaccine. I'm not stupid or naive. I know my kids will be sexually active when THEY want to, not when "I" want them too. Whether they are dating the head cheerleader, quarterback, math club president, band member or boy next door, a majority of children WILL become sexually active before they are 18. (How many of us were sexually active before 18? Do you think your kids are going to be any different, especially in this day and age when they are doing things younger and younger now?) I believe that I can't pretend that isn't going to happen and it is my job as a parent to give them the knowledge they need to protect themselves, while giving them my opinion and hopes that they wait.

Let's look at a NBC/People poll that took place almost three years ago. Nearly 3 in 10 teens (age 13 - 16) are sexually active and have been with another intimately and/or sexually. 30% of 13-16 year olds are sexually active. So get your daughter and nine of her friends together. At least three of them are likely sexually active (maybe more because let's face it, how many kids will readily admit to this to an adult). Is it your daughter or son? Have you given your child the tools they need to know how to protect themselves if they are? Do you feel you should or are you just going to get mad at them when they contract an STD or get pregnant?

As I read this, it looks like I am for this vaccine. I haven't made up my mind yet. Like I said, we have a little time left. However, I DO know that our decision won't be based on the controversy over it being related to an STD that makes up our mind. I won't stick my head in the sand, or up my behind, and pretend my kids aren't going to do things that I would rather them not do in a few years. I will protect them even if it means giving them the knowledge to protect themselves against STD's and pregnancy should they become sexually active and that includes HPV. I don't care that this vaccine is related to S-E-X (come on, if you HAVE given birth to kids, you have had S-E-X so GET OVER IT ALREADY). SEX! SEX! SEX! SEX! Say it a few hundred times and maybe you won't be so uptight about it. What I care about is protecting my children against everything I can protect them against.

If I determine that this vaccine would be more harmful than helpful, I would be against it. I haven't determined that yet. I am still researching it, but I like I said, the controversy over this being STD related is just stupid. What I want to know is down the road, will this negatively affect my children in any way? If they are vaccinated, will they have fertility problems down the road or pass along birth defects to their children? Will this "cause" something else? If I don't have them vaccinated, will one of them get a strain of the HPV that causes cervical cancer when I could have prevented that? Could I have prevented my daughter from getting cervical cancer and putting her through the cancer treatments and possibly losing her? Could I have prevented my grandchild from losing their mother? Those are my concerns and that weighs heavily. That is why I am researching this. I am not blindly following the medical community's advice to vaccinate automatically but I won't turn away from it either.

I think my children are way too important to blindly go one way or the other without taking the time to research this for them. I also won't make decisions based on some parts of society's hang ups over my kids becoming sexually active. I won't parent with my head up my behind choosing to ignore the fact that they likely will become sexually active at some point before they are 18. We will have to weigh both sides of this "controversy" from a health standpoint and make our decision to the best of our ability.

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Synergy's Blog

Hi and welcome.

This is my first attempt at blogging so bear with me while I newbie figures this out:)

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