Finding Willpower, Finding Time

OK. I want to get into shape. Lose some lbs. in some places, some more than others, lol. Firm up some places. Again, some more than others. My problem? Well, there's a few of them.

First, I have thyroid disease - Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and Hypothyroidism. Besides having several lovely nodules on my thyroid and the fear of cancer one day, it has slowed my metabolism down to about nothing. So, the days of eating what I want, when I want are over for me.

Second, I have asthma. A few minutes of exercise means puffing away at my rescue inhaler. I have my asthma under control for the most part the rest of the time, but exercise induced asthma gets me everytime.

Third, I have four young children. Where do I find the time to squeeze in exercise in between meal preparation, cleaning, homework, kids' activities, errands, husband activities, etc. etc. etc. Funny how the reason for the extra weight (baby weight that won't leave) is also part of the reason why I don't have time to get rid of it, lol.

Fourth, I have no willpower. Nada. Zilch. I never had to watch my weight before. I was always a size 2/4 no matter how many times I went thru the drive-thru at McDonalds (and believe me, that was OFTEN back when I was single). Yes, I was one of those snotty witches that could eat what I wanted, when I wanted, and never gain an ounce. So, having to figure out how to watch it now is difficult for me - difficult for me to think about and difficult for me to maintain thinking about.

Finally, I can't use "help" in the form of weight loss pills, shakes, etc. Medications tend to react badly with my thyroid meds (as in heart-racing nausea bad reaction feeling like I am going to die scenario). I have no clue how natural remedies would interact with my thyroid meds either so those are out. I can't even pop a cold pill when I get a cold.

I don't eat badly. I mean, there are times that I do. When Bryan brings me home chocolate, which he thoughtfully does because he knows how much I love it, how could I not eat some (he also thoughtfully eats it too, sometimes before I can get to it)? (Did I say he bought it for me? LOL) When I have my mother-in-law's company potatoes in front of me, that is a huge guarantee that I am going to eat too much but that's only a few times a year. Most of the time, I don't have time to eat properly, which is part of my problem. Not eating enough frequently enough slows my metabolism down. Guess I'm screwed everyway I go huh?

Fifth, everytime I try to exercise, a two-year old comes running to hang onto my leg. Mom can't have time to herself according to my two-year-old, lol. That is the way it is with everything though - mom gets on the computer, toddler wants me; mom answers the phone, toddler wants me.

That leaves me with exercise. Boring, asthma-inducing, hateful, muscle aching exercise. Something else about me - I hate to sweat. Hate it. Unless it is sweat induced by a lot of loving, I have NO interest in sweating ever. I hate sweating myself and find nothing sexy about a sweaty man. It stinks!

I took the first step today towards finding some willpower. I did it. I exercised today. I sweated. I increased my heart rate. Then after 14 minutes, I had to break for my inhaler. I did it though. My first step towards losing some lbs. and finding my waistline. It will make me happier about myself, thus better for my family. It will be healthier for me and that's not just better for me but better for my kids. I want to be around to see my grandkids. I am six years younger than my husband and he's in better shape than me. Can't have that! I have to catch up to the old man!

I am hoping this blog will give me some incentive to keep going. If I see it here, it will be a reminder that I have to haul my Turbo Jam DVD out and work my booty off more often and literally. Right? That's my hope anyway.