I'm Up For Adoption

I’m Up for Adoption


Some aspects of the holidays stink. Family squabbles seem to multiply and god forbid (or goddess forbid) a new crisis happens around the holidays to heap on top of the old squabbles. We're staying home for the holidays and I have to admit that I am happy about that.

So, I've decided I am up for adoption. I am going to write Santa with my wish list. Here it is:

Dear Santa,

I would like two parents who get along.

I would like a family who doesn't play favorites.

I would like a family that isn't mental.

I would like a family that doesn't live in drama mode 90% of the time.

I would like a family that I look forward to going home to for the holidays.

I would like a family where everybody gets along 90% of the time.

I would like a family that is close-knit.

That's my wish list, Santa, for the holidays. If you know of a family who doesn't have a screw loose, let me know. If they want to pay my credit cards off while they're at it, that'd be great. I'd appreciate it.

Oh yeah, while you're at it, I'd like 20 partially wooded acres out in the country with a large, older (but updated) farmhouse big enough for all of us with room to grow and my bills paid for the next year, please. Have you noticed the price of gas and milk lately?

Oh yeah again - don't be disappointed when my oldest doesn't believe in you next xmas. She's tottering this year on figuring it all out (with tears I might add) so I think this is your last year for her. I think we're going to be able to squeak her through this last year of believing in you, Santa. We have three more who believe though so don't worry. You'll still have cookies left out for you for at least 6-8 more years, if the dogs don't get them first.

If you'd rather have hot cocoa, or maybe a shot of tequila to warm you up, waiting for you instead of sour milk, just let me know.

Thanks Santa!!