This stepfamily stuff is for the birds. If you think it will get easier when they're older - nope. Harder.
At least when they're younger, they have an excuse for bad behavior (their other parent, lol). As adult stepchildren - not so much. It's all on them.
I have had 75,000 visitors to this blog! That's pretty cool. My stepfamily blog does even better - double the visitors. I think people in blended families are looking for validation and support and it is nice to have somebody in the same situation as you are to feel like you're not alone in the massive struggles with stepchildren or an ex. Oh the struggles with exes...ugh!
My husband's ex-girlfriend is sending him bills for their adult stepchild's birth control! You would think after the first month or two of ignoring them, she'd stop. Apparently she hasn't taken the hint yet. Crazy!
Last week, my stepson sang and recorded a disturbing, obscene song and posted it all over his facebook for all the kids and family to see on his facebook. The ex had no clue (because she doesn't monitor his online time). At that point, I seriously considered blocking my younger kids from their older brother's facebook because of the inappropriate content and language he was using. So, I let the ex know and she said she was grounding him from the computer for a week and had a talk to him about what is and isn't appropriate. She didn't even take down the song for a whole week!!! I didn't think that punishment was enough personally but I'd wait and see if it changed so I didn't have to block my kids from their half-brother. My husband thinks his ex just told us that is what she did while she did nothing about it.
Well, nothing changed. My stepson left an inappropriate comment on his 11-year-old brother's facebook profile picture last night (the picture is of my son and his girlfriend at their band concert last week). He wrote, "Get some
I deleted the comment (hoping she and her parents didn't see it), let the ex know via email this morning what was left and attached a print screen of what was left (it's not like she'd believe me without proof in front of her face), and that he was now blocked from my son's facebook. I doubt much will come of it.
If it was one of my young daughter's, and somebody was leaving comments about "getting some" on pictures of them, I'd be upset. I'm hoping I won't be fielding calls from parents today!
Needless to say, my stepson is now blocked from my son's facebook page. It's sad that it has to come to that but my 15-year-old stepson doesn't know right from wrong because his mother never taught him and she sabotaged us everytime we gave him consequences for inappropriate behavior. I also let my daughter know that he'd likely be blocked from hers as well.
Yup, wicked stepom - that's me.
I'm ticked off and I'm not even PMS'ing! That's really bad when I can be livid and not even have PMS to blame! Part of the reason is at Stepfamily Sanctuary. Oh the joys.
For once, I'd like to not have to deal with other people's bull as they jerk my family around. How a person could think that denying four little children their siblings is OK is beyond me. Must make a bitter person feel really good to make four little kids sad. Takes a cold-hearted person not to care I guess.
My stepkids are coming for Spring Break so instead of sending them small gifts that can be mailed long distance or a gift card for Easter (they are teenagers and would prefer the gift cards I am sure), we will be filling Easter baskets for them like we do for our other four children.
Now I just have to figure out what small, but meaningful, gift can I put in an Easter basket for a teenage boy and teenage girl that won't get tossed into a closet (or most likely thrown away by their mother when the kids aren't around which has happened too many times before). I want it to mean something to them. The thing is, I don't think "we" mean much to them so I am not sure what gift to add to their basket. If it is a personal, family type of gift, it has even more likelihood of ending up in the trash. Tip-toeing my way through the ex and stepfamily landmines are so much fun!
It amazes me how many stepfamilies there are now and that family law hasn't caught up with reality yet. They are years behind. I sure hope to see some change by the time my kids are parents! Geez! That's the speed they're going it seems like.
I write about blended family issues on my stepfamily blog.
Well, it's been almost two years but the stepkids are coming here for spring break. Hubby requested winter break and spring break with them. His ex wouldn't "discuss" it with him via email and requested he call her (personally, I think if SHE wants to discuss something with him, she should pick up the phone herself). Regardless, he always tries to maintain the peace and be civil so he did try calling her. Several times. She was never home supposedly. So, he didn't get winter break with the kids. Couldn't get hold of her. Yet she was the one who told him to call her about it when there is email access at work and home for her. He finally gave up trying to phone her and sent her another email to confirm visitation for spring break. She emailed him back to call her. Can you believe that? I would feel like a total idiot sending an email to tell somebody to call me. I would pick up the phone myself. Wouldn't that make sense? Being the nice person that he is, wanting to be civil, he did call her again. She eventually was home (*cough cough*) and the kids are coming here for spring break. Now, dates and times aren't confirmed yet so I won't 100% believe it until they are on their way here but we'll see.
I don't get why this is so difficult. You know? The kids need to see their dad. Mom and dad should be working together to make that happen. Instead, she has him chasing her with the phone (note, I didn't say phone tag because that would mean she actually called him back which she has NEVER done).
Women can vote. Women can work. Women CAN PICK UP THE PHONE AND MAKE A PHONE CALL.
Sometimes, I think ego gets in the way of a lot of things in life. What do you think?
Oh yeah, when I told our kids that they would be seeing their siblings for the first time in almost two years, my oldest daughter cried. She cried. She was that happy.
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