I've Lost 4.8 Pounds

Well, it WAS 5.7 pounds but it is the holidays. Give me a break. I lost that in the first four days of my "diet" too but by the fifth day, I couldn't stand it anymore and I cheated. That led to constant cheating. Thus, no more "diet" did I follow. I have managed to keep some of the weight I had lost off though the past few weeks, despite the holidays. Plus, I have to keep hiking up my pants so even that small amount of weight loss did make a small difference.

I have lost 1/4 of what I wanted to lose in total weight though so that isn't too bad. The diet the doctor gave me to follow just included too many foods that I could not eat without gagging (certain vegetables and fish). I think I am going to modify it a bit to include more foods (proteins) that I like with the veggies I like and cut out the foods that I couldn't stand, that discouraged me from this diet. Obviously, it was working (even if some of the foods was making me want to vomit). This diet isn't a "diet" so much as a different way of eating healthier foods, while cutting out oils, butter, and dairy. Definitely not a bad thing.

Here's hoping to more weight loss in my near future!

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I'm Up For Adoption

I’m Up for Adoption


Some aspects of the holidays stink. Family squabbles seem to multiply and god forbid (or goddess forbid) a new crisis happens around the holidays to heap on top of the old squabbles. We're staying home for the holidays and I have to admit that I am happy about that.

So, I've decided I am up for adoption. I am going to write Santa with my wish list. Here it is:

Dear Santa,

I would like two parents who get along.

I would like a family who doesn't play favorites.

I would like a family that isn't mental.

I would like a family that doesn't live in drama mode 90% of the time.

I would like a family that I look forward to going home to for the holidays.

I would like a family where everybody gets along 90% of the time.

I would like a family that is close-knit.

That's my wish list, Santa, for the holidays. If you know of a family who doesn't have a screw loose, let me know. If they want to pay my credit cards off while they're at it, that'd be great. I'd appreciate it.

Oh yeah, while you're at it, I'd like 20 partially wooded acres out in the country with a large, older (but updated) farmhouse big enough for all of us with room to grow and my bills paid for the next year, please. Have you noticed the price of gas and milk lately?

Oh yeah again - don't be disappointed when my oldest doesn't believe in you next xmas. She's tottering this year on figuring it all out (with tears I might add) so I think this is your last year for her. I think we're going to be able to squeak her through this last year of believing in you, Santa. We have three more who believe though so don't worry. You'll still have cookies left out for you for at least 6-8 more years, if the dogs don't get them first.

If you'd rather have hot cocoa, or maybe a shot of tequila to warm you up, waiting for you instead of sour milk, just let me know.

Thanks Santa!!

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I Have Thyroid Disease

Thyroid Information


I have an autoimmune thyroid disease - Hashimoto's Thyroiditis and am hypothyroid. I have been since my 3rd child was born. To give you an idea of what this is like (and to judge whether you are showing symptoms or somebody you love and want answers), here are some of the symptoms as shown at www.hotzehwc.com:

Physical Signs and Symptoms of Hypothyroidism

Fatigue, Weight gain, Cold extremities, Cold intolerance, Decreased sweating, Headaches, Muscle and joint pain, Enlarged thyroid gland, Menstrual irregularities, Infertility, Miscarriages, Loss of libido, Recurrent infections, Allergic disorders, Decreased mental sharpness "brain fog", Depression or mood swings, Hoarseness, Slow speech, Dry skin, Hair loss, Constipation, Fluid retention, Skin pallor, pastiness and puffiness, Enlarged tongue with teeth indentations, Brittle fingernails with ridging, Loss of hair on the outer edge of the eyebrows, Low blood pressure, Slow pulse rate, Low basal body temperature, Tingling and/or numbness in extremities, Elevated cholesterol and triglycerides

I was showing several of these symptoms when I was diagnosed. Almost seven years later, my bloodwork levels are within "normal" range but I am still having too many of these symptoms. That's not right.

I've been on synthetic hormones from the beginning, which I questioned several times but was always brushed off. Everytime I asked my endocrinologist about a natural med for it, I was shoo shoo'd away. It's always bugged me but I figured at the time she knew what she was talking about. Well, we've since moved so I no longer see her and I'm still having a lot of symptoms, I started looking up information. I bought a book Living Well with Hypothyroidism that is proving to be very interesting plus a web site was just recommended to me as having useful information:

http://www.hotzehwc.com/

I've been told that these two web sites below are supposed to be a good source of information and am looking forward to digging into them to find more information (and back up for when I go into my doctor insisting on a medication change):

http://thyroid.about.com

http://www.thyroid-info.com (this web site is the author's web site of the book I mentioned above).

I am going to insist to my new doctor that they switch me to a natural thyroid med to see if it helps. I'd love to get rid of as many of these symptoms that are hanging on that I can. I always attributed those symptoms to other things in life (like age) but I'm 36, not 86 or because of stress. I shouldn't be tired after sleeping all night. I shouldn't be so forgetful when my memory used to be sharp as a tack. I shouldn't still have four nodules sticking out of my thyroid, choking me if I laugh with my head turned the wrong way. That's not normal and it is time to insist on a trial medication change. If my insistence is met with denial, I will find another doctor. I want answers.

Anyway, I know thyroid issues are becoming quite common (like 1 in 8 women now) so I thought I'd put this info out there in case anybody else is showing symptoms that isn't being treated or know you have it and would like more reading material other than just the "synthetic - synthetic - synthetic" treatment some doctors will only use.

If you'd like to test yourself to see if you have symptoms of a problematic thyroid, among other things, try this:

http://www.hotzehwc.com/test/

Good Luck!

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The Definition of Family

What is family? Is family the group of people you are born into, sharing a parent somewhere in there, an uncle, a sibling, a grandparent? Is family who you are raised with as a child no matter how good or bad that childhood was? Alternatively, is it the people you choose to surround yourself with, whether they are blood related or not, that are there for you?

I am coming to the realization that blood has little to do with it. You can pick your friends but you can't pick your blood relatives. If you're lucky, you are surrounded by supportive, loving people who are there for you. If you're lucky, they are blood relatives. If some of those blood or marital ties are toxic, hopefully you are lucky enough to find support somewhere else and call them family.

With the end of the year coming, I find myself wanting to clear out everything and everybody toxic. Liars - gone. Users - gone. Unsupportive people - gone. Two-faced idiots - gone. Anybody in my life that is less than honest, less than supportive, less than what "family" should be - gone. These past few months found me at the limit to what I could tolerate. I don't like to see my family hurt because of somebody else's gross insecurities or selfishness. It hurts me and it pisses me off to see them hurt. I also find myself not caring if those toxic people are blood relatives or others in my life that have caused hurt without a care as to the pain they have caused. I hate seeing people close to me hurt even if it is unintentional, which hasn't all been the case unfortunately. Intentional harm is the worst and most unforgiveable. It'd be nice to live a life without drama, without lies and toxic behavior.

These have been some painful realizations I have had to come to terms with this past year. I've watched people very close to me, innocents, hurt unnecessarily because of other people's selfishness. Whatever your definition of family - whether you believe it is the family you are blood tied to, the family you marry into, or the unrelated "family" you choose to surround yourself with, this is how I feel. I have no tolerance left for toxic people and/or toxic relationships anymore. Anybody who has less than good intentions for me and mine, I have no respect for. Period.

I see some people who are able to tolerate it, swallow their hurt and pretend everything is ok though inside it is not and the relationship does suffer even if they pretend on the outside all is well. The same problems exist but you pretend they don't. I've tried that; it doesn't work for me. The hurt compounds over time as they heap more salt into the open wound. I am not one of those people to accept that though I've tried to - sometimes with my mouth shut but usually not. Everybody that knows me well knows I speak up when I see something or somebody hurt unfairly and if it one of my own hurt, "it" will hit the fan and it won't be pretty. If people don't like that about me - too bad. It is who I am, and people who have a problem with that are welcome to move on elsewhere.

I'm not sure if this realization has come with age but I kind of don't think so. I've always had a low tolerance level for stupidity and for people who unfairly hurt the people that I love, especially my kids and husband. When that happens, watch out!

Well, I'm tired of it. My New Year's wish this year is that everything toxic and anybody with less than pure, loving good intentions leave me and mine the heck alone. I'm tired of drama. I'm tired of lies. I'm tired of selfish insecurities. I may have had little choice on who is "family" outside my immediate home, but that doesn't mean I have to just accept it and invite it into my life now or ever. It isn't my responsibility to swallow my feelings to keep the peace due to somebody else's issues. Those feelings eat me up inside and for what? To pretend to have some semblance of a relationship with somebody you don't respect, like, or care for to keep the peace?

My definition of family is changing. It's time to clean house for the coming New Year! To me, family may be blood-related or they may not. To me, family may be people outside of blood ties that are in my life and offer the support and love that doesn't come from "blood". Blood is not always thicker than water. Harsh realization to finally accept but it's like a load off to finally do so.

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