Secrets Part I - Calling Child Protective Services on Family
Could you call Child Protective Services on a family member if you thought their children were in danger? I've done it a couple times so I guess my answer to that would be a resounding, "YES!"
The first time I called, it was on my own parents when I was a kid. I didn't think they were taking care of their children right (all eight of them) so I contacted CPS.
I called again yesterday on my little sister and her husband (not the first time they've been brought to CPS' attention). My other sister and I talked yesterday morning about the situation and she was thinking about calling...as was I. We both felt it was just a matter of time before one of the kids were seriously hurt due to their neglect and activities. So when we got off the phone, I started looking up their county protective services information online when she calls me back a short time later. She's shaken and sounds like she's crying because she called CPS on her baby sister. It needed to be done. She gave me the contact name she talked to so I called them right away and told them that they had a file on this family already (opened last year on them) and that they hadn't followed up on that as they should have! They asked ME if any more information had been found out about that initial case (on what caused it). Hello! That was YOUR JOB! I understand they are overworked with all the kids in the system but because of the reason for the initial opening of this case, they should've done more. Anyway, they asked me a lot of questions and I gave them what answers I knew.
They showed up unannounced at their door this morning and is the littlest sister pissed off. She's more angry at a different sister who didn't keep her secrets and told our other sister and myself about what was going on over there (confused about the sisters? lol...I have five sisters). My response to that is if she'd been parenting properly instead of neglecting her children and placing them in possible danger, none of this would have happened. Geezus! Take some responsibility for your own actions that brought this on...stupid.
So, I told the other sister who called first to relax and stop worrying because she's four weeks pregnant and doesn't need this stress right now. It was the right thing to do. The sister who told all the secrets to us is sitting in her therapist's office right now because she's stressed over all of this and the baby sister's reaction towards her for telling us what they were doing (or not doing) with regard to taking care of their kids.
What does she expect?
If CPS drops the ball again, I will be livid.
Could you call Protective Services on a family member?
For all the nut busters out there, everybody has tried to steer these parents onto the right path over the past couple years and they won't listen to family. Family members have stepped in time and time again, taking care of the kids, taking a parent to the psych ward, countless talks over their behavior, removing guns from the home, etc. I would glady take custody of these children if my own children wouldn't be put in harms way because of it but I can't. If one child (theirs) harms another child (mine), or children, you don't bring that child into your home to do it again.
25 comments:
With all that happens to children in foster care, calling CPS is the worst thing you could do. If you're so concerned, you should hire a lawyer and fight them for custody yourself.
CPS is not the answer.
Is it CPS responsibility to help the woman??
What about everybody elses responsibility. Do you guys just gossip about her and don't help her??
AND, there is a little thing called confidentiality in a therapists office. Seems like that must have missed everyones mind.
With loved one like you guys; who needs enemies.
But look on the bright side, when CPS does take the children and they are sexually molested by their foster parents- you will have something new to gripe about.
Anonymous (love it when people don't have balls and leave comments anonymously):
No, it is CPS's responsiblity to protect the children. They won't be removed most likely right away. They'll (family) be put into counseling and given a chance to straighten up most likely. If they are removed, they'll be sent to family who can take them. The family is already discussing who can take them if it comes down to that. Everybody has tried to steer these parents onto the right path over the past couple years and they won't listen to family. They're on a downward spiral. Family members have stepped in time and time again, taking care of the kids, taking a parent to the psych ward, countless talks over their behavior, removing guns from the home, etc. I would glady take custody of these children if my own children wouldn't be put in harms way because of it but I can't. Your assumptions were rude but thanks for your snide and ever so unhelpful comments.
Legally Kidnapped: I can't bring these children into my home because one of them has already hurt one of my children. There are other family members who are discussing taking them if it comes to that where other children won't be put in harm's way.
You did the right thing Syn. You know, people only hear about the bad things of foster care, and obviously your commenters have heard the worst. Being as I know some of the other backstory on this I think you are totally right not taking them in. I wouldn't/couldn't either.
CPS is the answer Anonymous and Legally Kidnapped. There is only so much family and friends can do. If they are not taking care of their kids and are leaving them in danger... That is exactly what CPS is for... CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES!
I am sorry that you have had bad experiences with foster care, but to assume that all foster parents molest the children in their care... yikes.
Well count me in as another one who KNOWS how corrupt CPS is. If you think they'll give those kids to family you are sadly mistaken. They'll put them in foster care long enough to say they have lost the bond with their parents and then adopt them out...all for HUGE incentives and bonuses.
CPS is the most vile and evil menace on the face of this earth.
I know...I lived it when my grandkids were kidnapped from their innocent dad.
Familiy is supposed to stick together. If you were so concerned, you would have fought for the kid's. You have caused your entire family suffer, especially the kid's. You have done more harm to those kid's than their parent's. CPS is not the answer. You'll be sorry. It will come back and bite you!
Anonymous, pull your head out of your ass and read what was written. I certainly won't put my own children in harm's way and anybody who expects me to do that is a moron.
If you can't put a name when you leave comments, then don't bother leaving anymore. Cowardly.
I tried leaving my name, but couldn't within the website. My name is Dot. I'm from N.H. You need to pull your head out of your ass and CPS' ass. Your sister is family, did you forget? Calling CPS is like turning her over to the guistapo. Oop's, you did turn her over to the guistapo.
If you had any feeling's for your sister or her kids, you would have tried harder to help her.
I'm sure you could get a job with CPS or have you already?
Dot: You have no idea what my family has done for my sister. You ASSume again, as usual. I don't know what CPS is like in your state but I'm familiar with CPS in the county my sister is in. My parents were foster parents. A friend of mine is a social worker. My sister still has her kids. Wow! Big surprise! You don't know what the hell you are talking about where it concerns our own personal situation. If she wants to keep her kids, she'll straighten her ass up and act like a parent.
You're right...I could probably get a job with CPS. Anything to get kids out of sick situations with disgusting excuses for parents who don't deserve them.
You sure do have a lot of bitterness towards CPS. Did you lose your kids to CPS?
Now I know what rock they crawled out from underneath:
http://legallykidnapped.blogspot.com/2008/11/sigh.html
Because their own situation wasn't handled right (according to them), ALL of CPS and the foster care system must be full of corrupt, lying, and/or abusive people. I get it now. It's bitterness is why I had the pleasure of such enlightening comments.
Because of some bad apples in the bunch, the rest must be crap too. That's like saying because some priests molest children, ALL priests must be pedophiles.
Must be sad to live with so much bitterness day in and day out and despise so many because of a few.
Dot again. I do have bitterness toward CPS. I'm happy to know the state you live in doesn't just take kid's from their homes at the drop of a hat after an anonymous false report is called in.In N.H. kids are taken without services given. Once the parent has complied with all court orders, the caseworker perjures herself in court to make sure the child is not returned.
I have recently met someone who used to work for CPS in N.H., who quit after witnessing all the injustices done toward parent's by CPS. In all the years this person worked for CPS, not one child was returned after being taken. Then it dawned on me. Out of all the families I've talked to, none of their children were returned.There is No reunification in N.H.
I'm sure if the corruption within CPS and the court system was as bad in your state as it is in N.H. and too many other states, you'd feel the same way. I pray your sister get's help and realizes there is nothing more precious than her children.
Hi Syn,
You know that I work for CPS as a social worker and I believe you did the right thing. Keep your head held high and do not let anon cowardly poster's let you think otherwise.
Dot, I hope my sister gets the help she needs and realizes how important her children should be to her as they deserve a healthy home. Our CPS isn't like NH's and it wasn't a false report. They are interviewing all the parties involved (the children, other siblings/family, my mother, child's teachers, the parents themselves). The goal is to keep the kids with parents first if possible. My sister has a chance to straighten up but if she chooses not to then there is family without younger kids in the home who can take them in.
Shanney, you deserve a big (((HUG))) for what you deal with everyday. What an emotional toll it must take. You're a stronger woman than I am.
Thanks Syn...I know that we move heaven and earth to keep children in their homes. I am a Court unit social worker and my job is to draft the services plan and help families work towards reunification. I work damn hard to get kids home ASAP. I am a mother also, first and foremost. Many of my parents know that they are in desperate need of help and actually welcome me into their lives. We get them into drug and alcohol rehab, counseling services, etc. I would say that 80% of my cases involve drug use.
The laws have been changed over the years to better serve families and I don't think people realize the legal standards we are asked to meet in order to remove a child from their home. The system isn't perfect, but it is what we have to protect children. I for one know that I work my ass off on a daily basis facilitating reunification services and that the Department I work in does wonderful work in our County.
Off my soapbox now :0)
Shan
http://pamroachreport.blogspot.com/
Another link, another child, another sad story!
UPDATE: CPS did not take the kids away from their parents, never to be seen or heard from again or abused in the foster care system. There is to be family and individual counseling, parenting classes, and visits from CPS.
Syn-
I hope things are still improving for your sister's kids. Years ago a research study was done in Hawaii on resilient kids. The difference between kids who became successful adults and those who didn't was that the resilient kids had at least one person they could turn to when things got really bad. You and your siblings could help in that way. Also, I've been a foster mom for a year and a half to 2 young children. The first shock when my husband and I got training was how normal the other potential foster parents were (as if we would be the only ones). If your sister and her husband cannot straighten out their issues to be able to parent their children, foster care- at least from my observations- is being done by people who really want to make a positive difference in kids lives. Of course there are always exceptions, but so far I've not met anyone who is an exception.
An Inconvenient Truth about Child Protective Services, Foster care, and the Child Protection "INDUSTRY"
Child Protective Services Does not protect children...
It is sickening how many children are subject to abuse, neglect and even killed at the hands of CPS.
every parent should read the free handbook from
connecticut dcf watch...
http://www.connecticutdcfwatch.com
Number of Cases per 100,000 children in the US
These numbers come from The National Center on
Child Abuse and Neglect in Washington. (NCCAN)
Recent numbers have increased significantly for CPS
Perpetrators of Maltreatment
Physical Abuse CPS/Foster care 160, biological Parents 59
Sexual Abuse CPS/Foster care 112, biological Parents 13
Neglect CPS/Foster care 410, biological Parents 241
Medical Neglect CPS/Foster care 14 biological Parents 12
Fatalities CPS/Foster care 6.4, biological Parents 1.5
Imagine that, 6.4 children die at the hands of the very agencies that are supposed to protect them and only 1.5 at the hands of parents per 100,000 children. CPS perpetrates more abuse, neglect, and sexual abuse and kills more children then parents in the United States. If the citizens of this country hold CPS to the same standards that they hold parents too. No judge should ever put another child in the hands of ANY government agency because CPS nationwide is guilty of more harm and death than any human being combined. CPS nationwide is guilty of more human rights violations and deaths of children then the homes from which they were removed. When are the judges going to wake up and see that they are sending children to their death and a life of abuse when children are removed from safe homes based on the mere opinion of a bunch of social workers.
THIS IS AMERICA'S HIDDEN HOLOCAUST
Currently Child Protective Services violates more constitutionally guaranteed liberties & civil rights on a daily basis then all other agencies combined, Including the National Security agency/Central intelligence agency wiretaping programs…
"It is the closest agency we have to the Gestapo in our society."
-District Judge R. Darryl Mazur
"For every 1 child CPS helps they destroy 700 other families" -- Montel Williams.
THE CORRUPT BUSINESS OF CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES
BY: Nancy Schaefer Senator, 50th District of Georgia
http://www.senatornancyschaefer.com/articles.php?filter=6
The Business of Child Stealing in Florida
http://www.nolanchart.com/article4132.html
This is Child Protection?
By Gregory A. Hession, J.D.
http://www.accessmylibrary.com/coms2/summary_0286-32729767_ITM
Mercenary Motherhood: "Memoirs of a Babystealer."
http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/la-oe-callahan16oct16,0,5019944.story?coll=la-opinion-rightrail
FOSTER CARE IS A 80 PERCENT FAILURE:. A Brief Analysis of the Casey Family Programs. Northwest Foster Care Alumni Study. By Richard Wexler
http://www.nccpr.org/reports/cfpanalysis.doc
http://www.nccpr.org/index_files/page0003.html
HOW THE WAR AGAINST CHILD ABUSE BECAME A WAR AGAINST CHILDREN
http://www.nccpr.org/issues/1.html
http://www.nccpr.org/reports/asfa.pdf
Adoption Bonuses: The Money Behind the Madness
DSS and affiliates rewarded for breaking up families
By Nev Moore Massachusetts News
http://www.massnews.com/past_issues/2000/5_May/mayds4.htm
Ted Gunderson Speech to Congressional Hearing on Child Protection 3/13/04
http://educate-yourself.org/tg/childprotectionspeech13mar04.shtml
Phoenix New Times
Outrageous Fortune
Private lawyers in Maricopa County child-dependency
cases are soaking us for unbelievable bucks
By Paul Rubin
http://www.phoenixnewtimes.com/2007-04-19/news/outrageous-fortune/
When The State Becomes Parent by Mollie Martin.
http://www.ejfi.org/family/family-110.htm
A recent study has found that 12-18 months after leaving foster care:
30% of the nation’s homeless are former foster children.
27% of the males and 10% of the females had been incarcerated
33% were receiving public assistance
37% had not finished high school
2% receive a college degree
50% were unemployed
Children in foster care are three to six times more likely than children not in care to have emotional, behavioral and developmental problems, including conduct disorders, depression, difficulties in school and impaired social relationships. Some experts estimate that about 30% of the children in care have marked or severe emotional problems. Various studies have indicated that children and young people in foster care tend to have limited education and job skills, perform poorly in school compared to children who are not in foster care, lag behind in their education by at least one year, and have lower educational attainment than the general population.
*Casey Family Programs National Center for Resource Family Support
80 percent of prison inmates have been through the foster care system.
The highest ranking federal official in charge of foster care, Wade Horn of the Department of Health and Human Services, is a former child psychologist who says the foster care system is a giant mess and should just be blown up.
http://abcnews.go.com/Primetime/FosterCare/Story?id=2017991&page=1
Four rigorous studies have found that at least 30 percent of America’s foster children could be home right now if their parents had decent housing.
These studies found thousands of children already in foster care who would have done better had child protection agencies not taken them away in the first place.
Read the studies online.
Front-page story in USA Today.
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-07-02-foster-study_N.htm?csp=34#Close
Casey "alumni" study: "Improving Family Foster Care: Findings from the Northwest Foster Care Alumni Study,"
www.casey.org/Resources/Publications/NorthwestAlumniStudy.htm
MIT study: "Child Protection and Child Outcomes: Measuring the Effects of Foster Care,"
www.mit.edu/~jjdoyle/doyle_fosterlt_march07_aer.pdf
http://www.cftl.org/documents/2008/FCfullreport.pdf
Texas comptroller's "Forgotten Children" reports:
http://www.window.state.tx.us/news/60623statement.html
www.window.state.tx.us/forgottenchildren
Chosen Children: how the Foster Care and Adoption industries fuels the Prison industry.
Billion Dollar Babies in America's Foster Care, Adoption & Prison Systems by Lori Carangelo
http://www.thechosenchildren.com/
http://www.thechosenchildren.com/ebooks/chosen.pdf
Statistics of Adoption-2005 Edition-Compiled and edited by Lori Carangelo
http://www.amfor.net/statistics.html
The bottom line? - Child Protective Services and the Foster Care system for the most part turns out young adults that are nothing more than Walking Wreckage...
CURRENTLY CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES VIOLATES MORE CONSTITUTIONALLY GUARANTEED LIBERTIES & CIVIL RIGHTS ON A DAILY BASIS THEN ALL OTHER AGENCIES COMBINED INCLUDING THE NATIONAL SECURITY AGENCY/CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE AGENCY WIRETAPPING PROGRAMS....
CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES, HAPPILY DESTROYING THOUSANDS OF INNOCENT FAMILIES YEARLY NATIONWIDE AND COMING TO YOU'RE HOME SOON...
BE SURE TO FIND OUT WHERE YOUR CANDIDATES STANDS ON THE ISSUE OF REFORMING OR ABOLISHING CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES ("MAKE YOUR CANDIDATES TAKE A STAND ON THIS ISSUE.") THEN REMEMBER TO VOTE ACCORDINGLY IF THEY ARE "FAMILY UNFRIENDLY" IN THE NEXT ELECTION...
"SAVE THE FAMILY AND YOU SAVE THE CHILD"
The ones that suffer here are the kids. CPS thrives on tearing apart innocent families all for money. You sisters should step in and possibly take there kids for a while to see if you can help them straighting there lives out. Involving CPS in this type of situtation is very scary, trust me i have hands on experience to this and if your not careful the kids will be permanetly adopted into state custody and live a horrible life wondering where there family is. So instead of seeing which one of you will call first, lets see who the real adults are and what those kids really mean to you.............
Kathryn,
Thanks for your comments. Foster parents do amazing things for children who need a safe place to land.
I can understand that not all foster parents are like that but it seems like my post brought out all the foster care haters. I have no way of knowing if these posters really were treated unfairly by the system or if they had their children removed for good reason and are bitter about that. I would imagine there is corruption in any government system so if we don't want our kids to be a part of it, I guess we better take damn good care of them;)
Endgame: Thanks for the figures. If they're true then I'd say you have some corruption that needs to be fixed. However, not all of CPS is like that.
Anonymous said:
...if your not careful the kids will be permanetly adopted into state custody and live a horrible life wondering where there family is. So instead of seeing which one of you will call first, lets see who the real adults are and what those kids really mean to you...
As I posted in December: My niece and nephew are with their parents and in counseling. Nobod ripped them from their parents to get lost in a system, never to see family again. If you use those scare tactics on a lot of people, I wonder how many people believe it all as true and kids stay in abusive situations with parents who should be parenting instead of screwing up their kids. I am not saying there isn't some corruption in some of the CPS systems because the government is full of corruption. However, not all of CPS and foster parents are abusive. You are doing a disservice to those good foster families who take a child from a bad situation and give them a safe place. You know, PARENTS should take some responsibility for their children and parent them. If they fail in doing so, whose damn fault is it when they are taken from them? All the bitterness in the world doesn't change the fact that if A PARENT WOULD PARENT appropriately, then they'd have their kids. Don't give people something to report!!! Yada, yada, yada...is it easier to place the blame on CPS rather than the parent? Alcoholics will blame everybody else for their problems. Drug addicts will blame others for their problems. I guess crappy parents do too.
I have to agree. CPS is very corrupt.They took my daughter over a paper cut from school. They are more than anxious to "help" any child they can get their hands on for Federal Funds. Once they get the child they could care less. The kids are all sent to therapy and are drugged. I receive many emails from foster children who are being abused and CPS ignores them. For every one family they help they destroy 700 other families.
If CPS gets your niece you will not see her for they will adopt her out. Is that what you want? Have you ever researched the history of Social workers? You might want to look up Eugenics.
Kathleen
The lady who said we are lying either works for the system or is on a non profit and is benefiting.
To find out go to www.guidestar.com
enter "mental health" or "children" and see who is on the non profits.
We know what we are talking about. All of who have given you advice speak from experience. If you chose to ignore it then that's up to you. Believe the fact that not everyone who has their kids taken are low life drug addicts. This is a complete fabrication. I am not low income and they kidnapped my daughter.
They do the same thing to all kids so why would your CPS agency be any different? AFRA has a corrupt-o-meter you might want to check out before calling CPS as some states are more corrupt than others.
I wish you luck.....
Calling in CPS is very dangerous. You never know what CPS will do. There is a lot of money to be made off stealing kids. CPS might help or CPS might take the kids away and put them with a pedophile. There is just no way to know. Once you call CPS they take over and you are subject to their whims.
Nobody's kids were stolen. The family had to get therapy for the child who needed it. They helped.
My cousin recommended this blog and she was totally right keep up the fantastic work!
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