Woman's Day Says Don't Be A Soccer Mom?
I'm a soccer mom. I cheer at all my kids' games. For practices, sometimes I sit and read a book if I don't have our toddler to keep an eye on but I am front row and present for all games. I am the same for my daughter's basketball games. I always thought that was the way it was supposed to be.
Then I am reading the May 2008 issue of Woman's Day and there is an article by Lisa Armstrong in there that says NOT to be a soccer mom. It says that "kids whose parents go to every one of their games are less likely to continue with sports as young adults" according to some author of some book (ok the author is Terri Khonsari and the book is called Raising a Superstar and some other stuff in the long title). It says that kids are often playing to just please their parents this way. It goes on to say to just drop them off and leave.
First off, I will NOT just drop my elementary age kids off at the park (which is where soccer games are played here) and leave them there for god knows what pedophile to get close to them! When they are this age, these sports are not school sponsored sports and parents are expected to watch their own kids! Perhaps this article should have been more age appropriate.
Second, if my kids weren't doing this for their own enjoyment, because THEY wanted to, they wouldn't be playing. Period. Does this author think parents have so much time on their hands that taking kids back and forth to practices and games is something every parent just can't wait to do? Nope, not me. Are there some parents like that? Yes, sure there are but that's them and not the rest of us. I encourage my kids to play sports and will do the required chaufferring around and cheering them on because I think it is good for them to get out there and have fun doing something they enjoy, getting exercise, learning the "team" mentality, but I am happy at the end of the season too. Yeah, it's over until next year! Mom gets a few months off from this. Yeah!
Third, not be there to support my child at a game? My kids would be upset if I wasn't. When I've dropped my daughter off for her basketball practice at the school without staying, she's upset with me for missing seeing her make that basket she was proud of even if it was practice! Practices? Maybe, but I'd never miss a game unless I was sick. That's the only reason I've ever missed any game of my kids and that's the way it'll stay too.
So, my opinion of this part of the article and the author of the book - I don't agree.
4 comments:
I totally agree with you. I started soccer when I was a wee tot. My parents were always there. As I grew older I switced to volleyball. But that's because I enjoyed that more, not because my parents forced me. And I played all through HS. If my parents were not at a game I was very disapointed.
I remember when I was a cheerleader at one of the football games and there was a parent/student thing going on at half-time my parents didn't show up for. Parents and kids were announced, parents giving their child flowers, and walking out onto the field. I cried so hard on the field watching everybody else's parents there for their kid. One of my friends took pity on me and her parents adopted me for the evening and I walked out with them. Of course, that was when the school yearbook snapped my picture looking like all weepy.
Kids remember these things and I don't want my kids ever remembering that mom didn't care enough about something they cared about to attend.
The article was not talking about leaving a child at a game that wanted you there. Read the article to get a better understanding. I think some kids just want to play the game, and don't need someone in the stands at EVERY practice or whathaveyou. Syn, your comment on the blog is dead on, but only in that situation. I would never agree with not being at a childs big event, nor would I be ok leaving them if I knew they wanted me there.
Then the article should have done a better job of differentiating between the different circumstances instead of making one statement. I went back to read it again just to make sure this afternoon, but I had already thrown the magazine out. It irritated me that much that I didn't keep it for several months like I usually do, lol. I went online and only found one post about it so far that I pasted in another post. It didn't help change my mind.
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